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It must be strongly recommended to be nice to all people at all times and never make any threats of any kind.

If however you are really mad at somebody you can try the following approach and only make threats along these lines:

-apply irony and sarcasm

-throw wet teabags that have been used twice

-whip cream and serve calorie bombs

-eat Danish

-talk double Dutch

-refuse to watch superbowl (or FA cup final if you're in England)

-construct cycling lanes

-travel by train or walk on your feet

-beat around the bush

-create rainy weather and delays

-watch parkingmeters

-wear ear plugs

-recite poems

-buy a hammock

-hire two private investigators and get them to follow each other

-disagree with chair umpire

-raise the bar

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